She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize