You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
are you so shy because you have an std?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
