Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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