you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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