whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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