Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
