Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
