You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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