maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
