went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Randomize
