yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
