i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Randomize
