man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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