Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
