I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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