Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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