"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
