we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
