Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
