peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
