What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
