My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
