So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
