More tranny stories later!
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize