i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
