I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
wow bdsm is so cute
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
