i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
