I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
