This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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