This girl is more easily done than said...
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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