Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
