i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
