you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
