I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I cockslap morals
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
