hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
How does one acquire holy water?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
