My hand turned me down
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
