so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
