Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
