It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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