I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
