I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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