doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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