their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
