I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
