like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize