woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
NoShamevember. You game?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
sex in a hospital.. check
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
