I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
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