Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Randomize
