new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
