so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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