let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
