I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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