Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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