We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
