I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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