He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
