Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
