did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You need Xanax blowdarts
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
