Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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