It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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