whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
