no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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