oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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